we're only taking turns, holding this world - originally posted on june 9

i dream of another place when i sleep. its a place, far from here, with sand and water, with color and vibrance. i dream of it every night, i dream of israel. i dream of my little apartment there, a few rooms, wide and open, with doors that open out to view the red sea. carpets on the floor, my photographs on the walls, old furniture, many books. i dream that i lay in a bed covered with mosquito net, with linens of white and woven blankets, i leave the doors open at night, warm air blows my hair, i can smell the salt in the air, i smell the fruit in the trees outside, the city's smell of ancient buildings and ancient history. i dream of walking the narrow streets, i dream of the days, hot and wild, the nights, cool and refreshing. i dream i can hear the crys of the vendors as i shop, i dream of tasting the fresh fruits i will buy, i dream of the fresh juice running down my hands. i dream of the children playing outside my windows, their mothers calling for them to not go to far, i dream of speaking the hebrew tongue with its sing song voice. i dream of standing before the wailing wall and closing my eyes, i dream of seeing the city in its ancient form. i walk its long forgotten streets, i stand at the banks of the sea and watch the fishermen laying out the days catch. i dream of learningto cook from the mothers around me. i dream of working on collecting the history of Gods chosen people. i dream of traveling, of watching the world fly past the windows of my train. i dream of faces, of music.

i dream of home. my home. soon.

i dream of it every night, and every night i wish i could wake up in that bed and walk out into my living room and walk onto my deck and take in the smells and sight of the sea. i will be there one day, but i long for it so badly now.

I'm weary of what is here, i'm weary of the ignorance, the extravagance, the selfishness, the arrogance. I'm ready to travel, i've always been too busy to travel, i hopefully have a job at the TEC (the east carolinian, or university news paper) designing ad layouts. i'll work one day a week and get paid for the hours there that i work. more work and hours will open up when the school returns for fall, i think its a good deal, its not much money, but it gives me time to work and earn something, i dont require much at all. i've also applied several other places, we'll see if they call as well.

justin has just returned from two weeks in the holy land. he went through israel, jordan and Egypt. i envy him. hes seen sights i long to see, he said he sat beside the red sea and played his guitar, just worshiped God in solitude. i wish i could have been there. I'm reduced to looking through books and seeing photographs on website of the digs I'm following. i will hopefully be there next year. next summer i will hopefully be going to Egypt with my religious studies class, if not that, i will line up several digs to correspond so that i'll spend the majority of the summer in and around the middle east. all my friends are traveling, nathan is in morocco and seeing the beauty that is africa. I'm envious. I'm so ready to be there, to walk in the land of ancient. to walk the land Christ walked, to look out over the sea that He calmed with His hands. to stand on the shores where He preached His fathers word. i desire to be amazed and humbled at the utter saturation of His chosen land. i know my time will come soon, but i wish it would come soon.

i know why i am here, and i know that it was Gods will that i work on my schoolwork, much prayer went into the decision and this is what is best for me now. it just saddens me that plans i had to travel this summer fell through. i was supposed to trek europe, but several unforeseen financial things arose and i was forced to take this alternate route, this is where i need to be, and i know that.

I'm thankful for my friends. twenty-something never fails to amaze me, the people are the most gorgeous souls in the world. they and my lords table friends are treasured in my heart above all others. i've been having a week, just, one of those weeks where things arent going my way, and i went (yesterday/thrusday) night and spent the entire evening with quality, beautiful souls, i feel energized and fresh and anew. i love thursdays, i love that I'm a part of such an extraordinary group of people. I'm so blessed to have them in my life.

chris spoke this evening about the importance of service, it was a really excellent sermon and it really struck home. so many people are going out into missions, i've always felt a call on my life to missions, i know now that God is opening doors in that area, but i know He is also teaching me to be patient, which, we all know, is not my strong suit, at all. a lesson is being taught, i am learning, and i know that things are going to turn around. i have a feeling that traveling is going to coming at me like a storm soon. this could be very interesting. i feel the call, i will heed the call. God will open the doors, and i will walk through into His marvelous light, and i CANT WAIT! i know God has a beautiful plan for my life, i know He is opening doors, with people, with opportunities, i can see them all around me. i am amazed by His grace, i marvel at his power, i bow to His love...

'You are holy...
You are mighty...
You are worthy...
Worthy of praise...

I will follow...
I will listen...
I will love You...
All of my days...

He is Lord of Lords
He is King of Kings
He is the Mighty God
Lord of everything
He is Emmanuel
He is the Great I Am
He is my Prince of Peacewho is the Lamb
He is the Living God
He is the Saving Grace
He will reign forever
He's the Ancient of Days
He is the Alpha Omega
Beginning and End
He's my Savior, Messiah
Redeemer and Friend

You are my Prince of Peace
and I will live my life for You'

for justin, we're glad to have you back, we've truly missed you and your one man band!

i will dream of my home tonight. i will go there and see my life and what God has in store for me. i will go and sleep by the sea this night.

peuvent les benedictions et les prieres de dieux etre sur vous et vorte voyage

†Jamie