Face to the night sky.
'Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.' -Greys Anatomy
'If you're lucky, you'll end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe, and give them time to heal.' - Greys anatomy
Two quotes to start off todays entry. Both so relavent to my current state of mind. This show is great, Its just the kind of show I enjoy because I portrays such real characters and doesn't mask emotions and situations with unforgiving love or sex like so many TV shows do today. Its a cast of real characters in real situations interacting more or less realistically with each other.
I've been melancholy recently. Its been a week of learning. I've found out several bits of information that have taken their toll on my spirit and left their wounds on my heart. I will be the first to say, God has given me so much, and I should be and remain happy in His love no matter what this life throws at me, but I am human too and a woman (as irrational as all men seem to think we are) who, like most other women takes things into myself and lets them bruise my mind and heart. Its been a week of constant prayer and constant crying out for peace and mercy, both of which I've receive gratefully on several accounts, but still have these events weighing on my mind.
These quotes have been on my computer for some time. I have them as away messages on AIM and I have them both on the "Stickies" program on my Mac. When they were spoken on their respective episodes I was struck by what they were saying and felt that they were often relevant to my life. As they have been this week.
The first speaks on the hardship of life. We know as Christians that God gives us all things and that everything is meant to teach us something, that struggles define who we are by how we handle the outcome, how we deal with consequences and how we react. We know that God is always with us and His love is constantly surrounding us, all we need to do is sit back in a quiet place and let it wash over us. This is definitely what I had to do last night. It was late and I was tired and ready for bed when the weeks trails came storming back into my mind. I had to stop several conversations I was in on AIM and just go get some air, which I find incredibly soothing and often do when I feel melancholy and restless. This time was no different and being that it was a beautiful night helped greatly. I simply went out onto my balcony, the lights turned out and listened. I often find that God and I have our best times together when I do this, simply sit and still my spirit and cry out to Him. Usually it begins in distress with tears and desperation and slowly, as His peace and love surround my heart it turns into a time when I get everything off of my chest and simply sit back and talk to Him as if He is there beside me, which I know He is, and praise and worship Him for the good things that He shows me are being done around me in the lives of others and myself. Its the most rewarding healing process and its saved me from being completely broken and crying myself to sleep several times. I love that as a Christian I can do this.
Last night was no different, I sat at the railing, turned out the lights and cried out for direction and healing and understanding. These were the things I most needed and desired and, as always is so, I wasn't left alone and crying. Its such a calm and peace when I'm out there. Its just me and God speaking as we were meant to and I am often reminded of the conversations I have with my own father like this at home. Its such a comfort to me to know that God comes to me as my own father does and grants me and open audience and doesn't reprimand me for the things I have done wrong, but shows me the things that are being done right. I know, as I felt last night, that what I am going through is simply one more struggle that will teach me a great lesson and that, when my heart heals and I can sit back and look at the whole situation with clear eyes, that I will be able to see, not only Gods hand in the situation, but that I will benefit from a lesson that will just be one more step on the path to the woman God has for me to be.
Does that change the fact that I am hurt and bruised and battered now? No, it doesn't. I still hurt, I am still melancholy and I am still battling the effects of what these event mean to me, but it is comforting to me to know that, tonight, as last night, that I will be able to go and sit at the feet of The Most High and be broken before Him without fear of criticism or rejection. I know that as I sit and as the quote says, rip off these bandages I have over still bleeding wounds, that as I sit and listen to the still small voice that they will breathe and heal and that the lessons learned from these experiences will outweigh by multitudes the hurt that I'm feeling now.
Its comforting to me, as one who often looks on the world with optimistic eyes, seeing the potential of every new day and every new minute as another extraordinary opportunity to experience the joy of life, to know that, even now, when I'm broken and weary and prone to see the hurt and sadness that the world is so full of, to see that Gods hand is in my life. That when I heal and look back at this week of sadness that I wont see the crying and the hurt and the battering, I'll see the moments on the balcony, sitting at Gods feet, listening to the wind feeling its coolness as the Earth is cooled from the heat of the day, and see the triumph. I'll see my rising above and my courage to stand up and fight when I so badly want to just lay, face in the dirt and cry. I'll see that, as God has promised, that we are strong in His love. That I am not a fragile little doll in His hands, but a mighty woman whom God has great and mighty plans for, and at the end of the day, I'm His child, loved in full and greatly and highly praised in His eyes. That more so now than yesterday, I am on my way to being the woman He desires me to be, a prize highly sought.
'If you're lucky, you'll end up with nothing more than a flesh wound, something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe, and give them time to heal.' - Greys anatomy
Two quotes to start off todays entry. Both so relavent to my current state of mind. This show is great, Its just the kind of show I enjoy because I portrays such real characters and doesn't mask emotions and situations with unforgiving love or sex like so many TV shows do today. Its a cast of real characters in real situations interacting more or less realistically with each other.
I've been melancholy recently. Its been a week of learning. I've found out several bits of information that have taken their toll on my spirit and left their wounds on my heart. I will be the first to say, God has given me so much, and I should be and remain happy in His love no matter what this life throws at me, but I am human too and a woman (as irrational as all men seem to think we are) who, like most other women takes things into myself and lets them bruise my mind and heart. Its been a week of constant prayer and constant crying out for peace and mercy, both of which I've receive gratefully on several accounts, but still have these events weighing on my mind.
These quotes have been on my computer for some time. I have them as away messages on AIM and I have them both on the "Stickies" program on my Mac. When they were spoken on their respective episodes I was struck by what they were saying and felt that they were often relevant to my life. As they have been this week.
The first speaks on the hardship of life. We know as Christians that God gives us all things and that everything is meant to teach us something, that struggles define who we are by how we handle the outcome, how we deal with consequences and how we react. We know that God is always with us and His love is constantly surrounding us, all we need to do is sit back in a quiet place and let it wash over us. This is definitely what I had to do last night. It was late and I was tired and ready for bed when the weeks trails came storming back into my mind. I had to stop several conversations I was in on AIM and just go get some air, which I find incredibly soothing and often do when I feel melancholy and restless. This time was no different and being that it was a beautiful night helped greatly. I simply went out onto my balcony, the lights turned out and listened. I often find that God and I have our best times together when I do this, simply sit and still my spirit and cry out to Him. Usually it begins in distress with tears and desperation and slowly, as His peace and love surround my heart it turns into a time when I get everything off of my chest and simply sit back and talk to Him as if He is there beside me, which I know He is, and praise and worship Him for the good things that He shows me are being done around me in the lives of others and myself. Its the most rewarding healing process and its saved me from being completely broken and crying myself to sleep several times. I love that as a Christian I can do this.
Last night was no different, I sat at the railing, turned out the lights and cried out for direction and healing and understanding. These were the things I most needed and desired and, as always is so, I wasn't left alone and crying. Its such a calm and peace when I'm out there. Its just me and God speaking as we were meant to and I am often reminded of the conversations I have with my own father like this at home. Its such a comfort to me to know that God comes to me as my own father does and grants me and open audience and doesn't reprimand me for the things I have done wrong, but shows me the things that are being done right. I know, as I felt last night, that what I am going through is simply one more struggle that will teach me a great lesson and that, when my heart heals and I can sit back and look at the whole situation with clear eyes, that I will be able to see, not only Gods hand in the situation, but that I will benefit from a lesson that will just be one more step on the path to the woman God has for me to be.
Does that change the fact that I am hurt and bruised and battered now? No, it doesn't. I still hurt, I am still melancholy and I am still battling the effects of what these event mean to me, but it is comforting to me to know that, tonight, as last night, that I will be able to go and sit at the feet of The Most High and be broken before Him without fear of criticism or rejection. I know that as I sit and as the quote says, rip off these bandages I have over still bleeding wounds, that as I sit and listen to the still small voice that they will breathe and heal and that the lessons learned from these experiences will outweigh by multitudes the hurt that I'm feeling now.
Its comforting to me, as one who often looks on the world with optimistic eyes, seeing the potential of every new day and every new minute as another extraordinary opportunity to experience the joy of life, to know that, even now, when I'm broken and weary and prone to see the hurt and sadness that the world is so full of, to see that Gods hand is in my life. That when I heal and look back at this week of sadness that I wont see the crying and the hurt and the battering, I'll see the moments on the balcony, sitting at Gods feet, listening to the wind feeling its coolness as the Earth is cooled from the heat of the day, and see the triumph. I'll see my rising above and my courage to stand up and fight when I so badly want to just lay, face in the dirt and cry. I'll see that, as God has promised, that we are strong in His love. That I am not a fragile little doll in His hands, but a mighty woman whom God has great and mighty plans for, and at the end of the day, I'm His child, loved in full and greatly and highly praised in His eyes. That more so now than yesterday, I am on my way to being the woman He desires me to be, a prize highly sought.
posted by Jamie | 3:32 PM
6 Comments:
Why is it that as women we seem to be so battered and bruised? I'm having a "bruised" day. I work so hard to keep myself safe and to be rational but every once in a while my stupid emotions catch up and I have a day like today when I have a disappointment that I say is not a big deal, but it does hit me as if it were. But you are right no matter what the only One I need is there for me holding me on my bruised days and drying my tears and loving me.
Umm... hate to break it to you ladies, but you're not the only ones who sometimes let disappointments get to you. I know I too struggle with not letting things like disappointment get to me and get under my skin. The difference is that instead of crying, I usually throw or hit something.
I think this is really one of those struggles of faith that we deal with. I know that God is for me and has a purpose in even the worst situation I go through. Yet, it still hurts and stings and I have to struggle to believe that and not give into what I'm feeling at the time. That's why I love the Psalms so much- whether I'm rejoicing, sorrowful, mad, or whatever, there is a Psalm that deals with it and can help me preach to myself.
Another Grey's Anatomy fan! What are we going to do when it starts showing on Thursdays? ;) Thank goodness for VCRs.
I have a different perspective right now that may or may not be helpful. Lately I've been the hurter (verb) instead of the hurt. That's not completely accurate - being the hurter hurts too - but you know what I mean. Sometimes Christian friends do the wrong thing, and sometimes they do the right thing the wrong way. If your "hurter" falls into one of those categories, then feel certain that God is convicting them, and know that they are not without pain right now. Sometimes when somebody has upset us, part of our pain is feeling like they're doing just fine, blissfully ignorant of how we feel. I don't think that's usually the case, though.
Just remember that unless this person is a real jerk, the last thing they wanted to do was hurt you. Sometimes that's inevitable - life is hard, but (thankfully) God is good.
I didn't even notice earlier, but that is an awesome picture... I love beach/water phototography bigtime.
Thanks Jamie! I love going to the beach with my camera, this one was from Emerald Isle, to which I had never been to before (I'm a Avon, Hatteras Island girl). Its amazing to see what God has given us.
I'm so sorry I hurt you, Jamie. When I said, "you smell like a can of tennis balls," I meant that as a compliment. Somehow. And the thing about wanting to puke whenever I'm around you and wishing you'd just shutup most of the time...that was...umm...a joke! Yeah...that's it. I was totally joking. I swear. I'll never hurt you again. Never. I really mean it this time. Take me back, baby. Take me back.
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